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Friday, November 6, 2009

How do *you* define "cougar"?

I've read a couple of stories or comics recently that had me blinking in surprise. In all three of them (no, I won't provide links, because I honestly don't remember where they were -- this has been kicking around my head for days), the phrase "cougar" was used to refer to a woman who was "30 or older" and "usually considered to be past her sexual prime".

I reacted in two ways to this. Firstly, I went "You're considered to be a cougar now if you're over THIRTY? Isn't that kind of young for the appellation?" I mean, I'd always thought that the phrase "cougar" referred to mature women in their late forties and fifties.These stories, though, were implying that you were a cougar if you were thirty or older. That seemed ridiculous -- just artificially low to me.

Then I looked at it further, at the idea that cougars are "past their sexual prime", and at that I had plenty to say, but "Bollocks!" was the first I came up with. For one thing, wasn't the statistic for years that men reach their sexual peak at 18, while women don't do so until they turn 36? Used to see that pair of statistics around every corner, for years. For another thing, how many of the women in the sex-journalling world are in their thirties, or their forties and fifties? A scan of my watchlist turns up several in your thirties, plus a few more in your forties, and yes, a few in your fifties. And all of you have hearty and healthy appetites -- in fact, some of you have damn near incredible appetites. "Past their sexual prime", pfah. What a load of crap.

Anyway, this got me wondering -- what do YOU think a "cougar" is? Late forties? Fifties? Is it age-related only? Or do you buy this garbage about thirty being the cutoff point? Have cougars really passed their sexual peak, or do you agree that's crap as well? Or is it just that "cougars" go exclusively after men who are younger than they, and so you exhibit cougar behaviors even at thirty if you're chasing men who're in their twenties? I'm lost here.

For my part, I think I must be getting up there in my dotage as well, because a lot of the college students I see in my town look to me like they're twelve years old. Sure, some of 'em have nice hard bodies, but I hear snippets of their conversation and the banalities they talk about, and my interest in them shrinks to less than zero. There's got to be a brain there if I'm going to give a damn, no matter how hot you are, and the plain fact is that older women have had more life experiences and are more mature just by virtue of that.

Disclaimer: Don't for a second think that I'm singling out the younger ladies in the crowd for unfair finger-pointing. I can think of any number of you that are in your twenties, or younger -- Amy , Coquitten , Amorous Rocker and (I think) Ang come immediately to mind -- but you're smart too, and that's why you've got my attention, not just because of your pert young flesh. Although I won't lie, that does catch my interest as well. :)

So if I'm a cougar-watcher for loving women that are thirty and up, well, then, I guess you'd better cuff me, Officer. Oh, what's that, officer? You're over thirty too? Then why the cuffs? Oh. ..........Ohhh!!! Well, lead the way, then........

Rrrrrowr. Gotta love them cougars. And all the rest of you hotties as well. Regardless of age.

-- PB


CW said...

My definition is 50 and up, but I have noticed that it seems to continually get younger. To consider a woman at 30 past her prime is hysterical to me....

Gray said...

THANK YOU! I am so sick of being called a cougar period. I'm 34. I'm on the upswing and I don't date guys younger then 30. Which part of that screams cougar?! Now to me, cougar is a woman who is over 50 who likes to date men CONSIDERABLY younger, like 25.

The Panserbjørne said...

CW: I thought it was hysterical too! I mean really.

Gray: Has someone actually called you one? I'm curious.

Thank you both for chiming in! I tend to agree with you both -- over 50 and going after men who are MUCH younger is the way I'd always thought of it.

-- PB

Spring Flower said...

At my age (37), I'm really not past my prime... and it's only getting better!

I agree with Gray. Women over 50, likely to be single/divorced/widowed and dating much younger men (20-25 yrs old).

The Panserbjørne said...

Flower: That seems to be the prevailing opinion, from you ladies here and a few who've emailed me offline. Makes me wonder what kind of crack the people who wrote the other articles were smoking....

-- PB

Luna Mauvaise said...

Most folks call me a tiger. But I will take cougar too, if it fits.

I don't know if 34 old enough for the classification, nor do I care. I tend to be more sexually attracted to men old enough to be my dad's younger brother anyway; or at the very least my own age. It is an experience thing I guess. ;) The young ones, while cute and vigorous, just amuse me.

The Panserbjørne said...

Luna: Most seem to agree that "cougar" fits more to those in their fifties who date MUCH younger men. In which case you definitely don't fit the bill. Like you, I prefer a bit more seasoning. The taste is so much better that way. :)

-- PB

Anonymous said...

love it . what pisses me of as a single fellais that people seem t regard 55 as a cut of for males

me - Im 60 - 32 inch waist -dumbell excersing t get rid of a very small paunch . fit - longlegged beasty.
still got a full head a dark hair .( apart from a malan streak )
and I adore the older girls

give me a nice 40, 50 , 60 year old lady -with a suit - who has a brain to match her bottom .

I will melt at her feet......

The Panserbjørne said...

Anon: Good point! Males AND females of any age can still be interested in sex.

-- PB

moresexchocolateandredlipstick said...

I was about to get put out that you'd insinuated that all college students are banal - until I saw my name :) You flatter me mister!

I always think that it's not about the age of the woman, so much as the age of the guys she's chasing.

And what's all this crap about sexual prime? Is there even such a thing - I fully intend to be this libidinous forever!

---Amy xxxx

The Panserbjørne said...

Amy: I had to make sure I qualified the remarks to include you youngsters who're hot AND smart. Can't single you out when you're the exception to the rule! :) And the flattery is deserved.

-- PB

coquitten said...

Haha, I felt the same as Amy and then was pleased to see you listed me as one of the exceptions. Unfortunately, I agree with you. I used to hear girls in the bar I worked at titter away about absolutely nothing, and I wondered why they were in college and what they had to offer, well, anyone!

But a cougar to me is definitely a much older woman who dates much younger men. I couldn't say an age range definitively, although, IMHO, it seems that it's more about the age difference. I say if the woman is fifteen years or more older than the man, that makes a cougar (the idea that they've 'pounced' him).

The Panserbjørne said...

Coquitten: Good, I'm glad you saw the qualification. Don't want to offend you young, smart, hot ladies, when you aren't the problem. :)

Also glad you agree with me on a few points. And with most of the others, too, it seems -- "cougar" appears to be an older woman (of any age, really) going after a much younger one.

Thanks for chiming in!

-- PB

frances said...

30 is ridiculous!

The Panserbjørne said...

Frances: Agreed, definitely. Utterly ridiculous.

-- PB

Vixen said...

My understanding (and definition) of a Cougar is a woman in her 40's and above who target much younger men...typically in their 20's. I hadn't actually heard of people referring to women in their 30's as being a "Cougar". Coquitten described it best though.

What makes the least sense to me about what you said you've heard is that women aren't said to even *BE* in their sexual prime until their 30's! LOL

The Panserbjørne said...

Vixen: For years I'd heard the oft-repeated statistic that mean peak sexually at 18, while women do so at some point in their thirties (32-36 was the usual number). Then I saw these ridiculous articles claiming women in their thirties were PAST their peak. At that point I went "Buh?"

-- PB

Fantasia Lillith said...

Is this a clever way of getting us all to reveal our age? *grin*

At 36 I am most certainly NOT a cougar. Who are these morons??

I would say 50. Lover agrees with me. He also said that it means 50 with an appetite for a fellow young enough to be her son. I agree. The idea is - if her boy toy runs into her son ... it's going to be awkward for the son.

Now my Man is 12 years older so ... I am in no way at risk of being called cougar regardless of age.

Fantasia Lillith said...

Oh and I would add ... it's about the hunt. It's the one out there actually hunting down very young (in relation top their own age) men.

I like them older - done the younger thing ... pffft. Give me experience and confidence - PLEASE.

The Panserbjørne said...

Fantasia: Yeah, seemed pretty ridiculous to me too, the whole artificial age thing. What an arbitrary cutoff.

Do you know, I honestly hadn't even considered the idea of the hunt being the reason for the "cougar" appellation? How strange, because it makes perfect sense.

-- PB