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Saturday, May 1, 2010

First of May

Today is the first of May. And you all know what that means.

If you don't, let Jonathan Coulton enlighten you.



I woke up this morning
I had a scone and a large house blend
And then a little conversation with my squirrel and chipmunk friends
I said I’m sick and tired of winter
And I wish that it was spring
And then a little fellow named Robin Redbreast
Began to sing

And he sang

Ooh ooh child, what’d you think the cold winter’s gonna last forever?
Ooh ooh child, now’s the time for all the people to get together
Outside

Cause it’s the first of May, first of May

Outdoor fucking starts today
So bring your favorite lady
Or at least your favorite lay
The water’s not cold baby dip in your big toe
Maybe I’ll see you in flagrante delicto
Grass below you, sky above
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called fucking outside

I thanked him for the information

I cried a little when he flew away
I watched an episode of The People’s Court
And I tried to plan my day
I called up my old lady
She wasn’t home so I called my girl
I asked her if she’d like to join me as I
Entertain the world

And I said

Ooh ooh child, I’ll bring a blanket and I promise I will brush the ants off
Ooh ooh child, you’re gonna like it when we’re taking each other’s pants off
Outside

Cause it’s the first of May, first of May

Outdoor fucking starts today
So bring your favorite lady
Or at least your favorite lay
The water’s not cold baby dip in your big toe
Maybe I’ll see you in flagrante delicto
Grass below you, sky above
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called fucking outside

So we went to the park together

We were walking in the midday sun
We met all kinds of people and we
We fucked everyone
We fucked a lady who sells ice cream
We fucked a man with a tan Shar Pei
Everyone who needed fucking well they
They got fucked today

So come on

Ooh ooh child, open your mind and your heart, feel the spirit moving through you
Ooh ooh child, you’ll feel the warmth of the love when I stick it to you
Outside

Cause it’s the first of May, first of May

Outdoor fucking starts today
So bring your favorite lady
Or at least your favorite lay
The water’s not cold baby dip in your big toe
Maybe I’ll see you in flagrante delicto
Grass below you, sky above
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called fucking outside



Enjoy your First of May, all.

-- PB

8 comments:

Spring Flower said...

Ok, I have no clue if May 1st is int'l masturbation day or fucking day?!

I need a good fucking though. Whatever the day. ;) LOL

frances said...

sigh. yes please. sadly i've had no such luch. funny song though! thanks for the chuckle.

Fantasia Lillith ( Fanny) said...

And in a few days it's my birthday (27th)... *grin* I think mother nature planned it all very well don't you? for me to be a May baby - I mean ...HOW did she know?

What will your May pole be this year?

The Panserbjørne said...

Spring Flower: I don't think it's either, technically. I think JoCo just took the inspiration from the old rhyme "First of May, first of May! / Outdoor fucking starts today!"

Frances: I think most people probably don't get that kind of luck...but I still like the song. Heh.

Fantasia: It must have been in the cards, I guess! :)

-- PB

nilla said...

OMFG!!! LOL! and here i thought it was all about the flower baskets and candy (which we still make and give to neighbors)...

if only i had known, i woulda made a bigger basket and put me inside it!

nilla
grinning

Ms Scarlett said...

Woohoo - I celebrated May 1st (almost) properly... just wasn't outside...

SapioSlut said...

While it is getting to be winterish here I do believe fucking is good winter or spring...or summer or fall! Thank you for the cool song and the accompaning smile. :D

The Panserbjørne said...

Nilla: I guess it COULD be about flower baskets and candy also; I prefer this, though. :)

Scarlett: Well, you celebrate however you can! That's a good way, too. :)

SapioSlut: Hey, a new visitor. Thanks for dropping by! Yes, I think the First of May concept is applicable round the world -- just pick a different day if May 1st is a wintery day in your area.

-- PB