(Source image: "White Drape" by Ricardo "r/ace" Acevedo)
I stood staring out the window, back rigid, shoulders hunched against the hurt. She sat on the couch, legs drawn up, eyes hooded and empty. Gray twilight was invading the room. Darkness grew and deepened as the silence stretched.
“So that's it, then?” she wanted to know. “Three years together, and now this?”
I couldn't, wouldn't, answer her. I couldn't draw in the air, couldn't force words past the agony blocking my throat.
“Don't I even get a farewell fuck?” she whispered, and her voice broke.
I turned to her, and there in her beseeching face was all the love I'd hoped for. Hoped for, but never had. And now it was too late. But it was wrong to end it like this.
In the gathering dark, with shadows encroaching on the floor, veiling our faces, we made love one last time. And it was sweet, so very sweet, to feel that warmth, to keep from drowning.
Your challenge for today was to use the picture above and write a flash fiction of 60-160 words. Additionally, I provided a key phrase I wanted to see used somewhere in the submission:
"...the gathering dark..."
Nobody's checking word counts, or for the key phrase, but you're only cheating yourself if you break the rules. Unless you're doing it to earn a spanking (in which case, see me after class).
Special Bonus Director's Commentary Track:
Not much to say this week, I'm afraid. I'm in the grip of a powerful melancholy that's threatening to deepen into full-blown depression, and it shows in this piece. I'd originally intended this to be more smoldering, more upbeat, more sensual, but when it came time to write, this was what came out instead.
Please note that I am no longer collecting the participants list. If you are playing along this week, please leave your link below using the widget. It will appear in the text of the post itself, not in the comments, so everyone that's playing will be listed here. This frees me from having to chase people down to find out if they're playing or update the Friday post several times for late entries. Your cooperation is appreciated.
In any case, the participants list is below. Go check them out, and thanks to all who played along.
Check back here on Monday for the next challenge! And if you have any photos or artwork you'd like to see in a future challenge, please send them my way.
-- PB
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10 comments:
Darkness, sadness, melancholic, interesting all of the interpretations of that look on her face. Well Done.
i'm glad they at least had that farewell fuck. powerful story.
I'm not a fan of the "one more time" pitch, it rarely turns out well and, well, in the sitcoms she always ends up pregnant as a cliffhanger.
I hope your mood lifts soon. Meloncholy and darkness is fine for 160 words, but in real life, it's no fun at all.
That one last time fuck is usually not a good idea in my book.
soft, sweet and sour...
Your interpretation is very different from mine but I like it
I think the last line may be one of the best last lines you've ever written, and I'm sorry that it comes out of something so unpleasant as deepening depression. I for one will accept less quality next week if in exchange you feel better :)
Sweet melancholy indeed. oh my...
Hope you get through your funk soon. This is such an odd time of year, sun and warmth one day, cold and dreary the next.
that was painfully sweet in just the right portions...yet still left me wondering if it was really too late or not. Happy FFF :)
A bitter sweet story, but well written.
It is a good piece, as always with you. I hope those down moments will pass soon though.
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