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Friday, June 17, 2011

Flash Fiction Friday 6-17-11: "Five Star Service"

(Source image: "Room Service" by John DuPret)

"Will there be anything else, madam?"

She shook her head, distracted by something. "No, thank you."

He turned to go, and then she knew what it was. She'd forgotten the customary gratuity. And such prompt service deserved a tip. A large tip.

"No, wait."

He turned back, inquiry in his gaze. "Yes, madam?"

She untied her robe and let it fall to the floor. She expected shock, but he merely nodded and approached, his hands already going to the zipper of his slacks.

After, when she'd regained her breath, she confessed to being surprised.

"Why should you be?" he said calmly, already dressing, not a hair out of place. "We pride ourselves on five-star service."

She could only agree.

Your challenge for today was to use the picture above and write a flash fiction of 64-94 words. Additionally, I provided a key phrase I wanted to see used somewhere in the submission:

"...a large tip..."

Nobody's checking word counts, or for the key phrase, but you're only cheating yourself if you break the rules. Unless you're doing it to earn a spanking (in which case, see me after class).

Special Bonus Director's Commentary Track:

I enjoyed putting this one together, but I should have perhaps allowed a longer word length. I wanted to do more with this than the word limit allowed me to. I may explore the concept a bit more later, or bring more of a Victorian feel to it (it certainly has that look, in the artwork), but at least I'm satisfied with this one, for a change.

Please note that I am no longer collecting the participants list. If you are playing along this week, please leave your link below using the widget. It will appear in the text of the post itself, not in the comments, so everyone that's playing will be listed here. This frees me from having to chase people down to find out if they're playing or update the Friday post several times for late entries. Your cooperation is appreciated.

In any case, the participants list is below. Go check them out, and thanks to all who played along.

Check back here on Monday for the next challenge! And if you have any photos or artwork you'd like to see in a future challenge, please send them my way. 

-- PB


Anonymous said...

Five-star service? Heck, I think that's Ten-star service! And where is this establishment located? :-D

France said...

I'll try that on my next trip! Nice :)

The Panserbjørne said...

Sweets: Hotels use a five-star rating, and I envisioned this as being a hotel (albeit a rather unusual one). Does that help? :) Glad you liked it.

France: Oh, I'm sure anyone would be delighted to receive a tip like that from you. G'wan, give it a try! :)

-- PB

The Temptress said...

This made me smile. Short and sweet. So are you the one in charge of FFF nowadays? Who comes up with the picture prompts?

The Panserbjørne said...

Temptress! Hooray, nice to see you visiting. Yes, I'm in charge of FFF nowadays, at least insofar as anyone can be said to be in charge. I host it and come up with the pics, word length and phrase requirements each week. I do ask for people to send me pics and artwork, and some do, but mostly I pick them myself.

Nice to see you again!

-- PB

Word said...

Lovely! You picked up on the hotel vibe too, only we switched who was servicing who... LOL

I agree that this one could have gone on longer.

Anonymous said...

I'm just too long winded. I can't get to the sexy part before I run out of words.

Advizor54 said...

I like the short ones, challenges me to pick my words carefully. I liked your take on this one. Well done.

Anonymous said...


Hedone said...

KinkyGent says, "I liked the picture and it looks Victorian so that is the flavor I wanted my tale to have.

This is fun."

The Panserbjørne said...

Wordwytch: It's funny to see the different approaches that get taken. I was actually surprised that the hotel thing wasn't used by more people. Glad you liked it!

Natasha: I have trouble keeping to the word limit and making it sexy too. There are times when I don't go for sexy at all. Depends!

Advizor: Careful indeed -- you generally do do an excellent job of that. I'm happy you liked this one.

HEDONE: Glad you liked it!

KinkyGent: Yes, it does look Victorian, and I'd hoped to bring that into my story, but couldn't work it in without making it forced. Maybe some other time.

-- PB