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Friday, February 1, 2013

Flash Fiction Friday 2-1-13: "Unspoken"

Word Limit = 300 words
Key Phrase = hazy
Extra Credit = Figure out who's taking the picture, or, tell us where the husband is.



The air was heavy, thick, redolent with citrus and jasmine, cigarette smoke, and a darker, more primal scent overlaying all. The ceiling fans spun lazily, doing little to stir the haze. I cared not; my attention lay elsewhere.

All night I'd watched them, mutely appraising. Watched them queer the pitch for every sad bastard who came along and thought the exposure of skin was a license for grabbing, or assumed they must be available merely because they were unoccupied. Watched the interlopers slink away, torn in small pieces by razor tongue and the thousand-yard stare from dead, dead eyes.

Once or twice I caught the hooded gaze of the one in red. The glitter of those eyes was absolute, would admit of no authority, no passions. It belied the animal hungers so plain in every deliberate movement she made. The blonde – caressing her friend's shoulders slowly, once in a while leaning over to whisper inarticulate nothings – studiously refused to look at me at all. Her nipples stood tall, her breasts were drawn tight; occasionally she would trail a hand down between her legs and touch herself, and her eyes would close in heavy-lidded pleasure.

And then the one in red seemed to come to a decision. She raised her head and looked at me, deliberately, insolently. Her hands went to her dress and slid it up, up, till I could see all too easily the dusky rose of her cunt. It glistened like a promise.

I looked at her. “Why?” I wanted to know. “What makes me different from the rest of them?” I indicated the room with a slow sweep of my hand.

Her red red mouth shaped the words precisely. “I admire restraint,” she breathed. “Makes it more fun breaking that restraint.”


Director's Commentary:
This was a fantastic photo. It has a very noir-ish feel to it and I tried to inject a bit of that into this piece. I get the impression that this is one of those parties where just about anything goes, but the host (or hostess) won't tolerate any excessive familiarity unless the recipient is clearly interested. I think these two would have to put up with a lot of offers all night, and so I was curious how they might react to a man who deliberately did *not* pursue them. It seems he's won the cigar.

Who took the picture? Perhaps it was a photographer who the hostess has paid to capture interesting tableaus. There is a sense of coiled promise in this particular layout; even if it were live video, I doubt you would see much more movement than what's captured here. It's all being spoken with body language; all the communication is wordless.

Thanks to Advizor for putting together this week's Flash Fiction Friday. Go check him out, won't you, to see who else is playing.

-- PB


10 comments:

Advizor54 said...

"Redolent" is such a wonderful word for the picture, well chosen. I can see, as you said, that a video would should little more movement than the curl of smoke from her cigarette and the small motions of the blond's fingers between demure thighs.

Thanks for writing and for supporting the process. :-)

TemptingSweets99 said...

I think you succeeded in adding a bit of a noir-ish feel to your story.

Ms. B said...

I felt the same about the picture, it was great to read it through your eyes! Happy FFF!

Same sassy girl said...

Wow... you wound this story like a coiled spring. So tight and hot! Great FFFing with you!

Mystique said...

The tension in this is magic and gives life to the picture perfectly.

But of course, it's no surprise from such a talented bear such as yourself *curtseys*

MinorityReport said...

Very nice.

The Panserbjørne said...

Advizor: No problem at all, man. Always happy to participate when the muse moves me -- and that picture definitely does help with that. :)

Sweets: Writing noir is difficult stuff, but I do revel in reading it. I can't quite capture the same level that Chandler or Hammett did, but I give it my best shot. Glad you enjoyed!

Ms. B: That's a lot of the fun of FFF for me, seeing how other people interpret it differently. Thanks for dropping by.

Sassy: Is the story tight and hot or were YOU tight and hot after reading it? Sorry, can't resist a straight line like that. But thanks regardless. :)

Mystique: Thank you, thank you, my dear. So glad I continue to entertain and delight you. Your words are, as always, balm to my ego.

MinorityReport: And thank you as well! I hope we will see you participating again.

-- PB

Word said...

Oh, oh ohmy... I love your view on the picture. Noir indeed.

Athena Marie said...

This is quite excellent. I love the picture, but love your words even more. I've said it before and I'll say it again - you're an amazing writer. And yes, restraint is very sexy.

The Panserbjørne said...

Word: Sorry about the delay in reply, didn't receive notification till today! Thanks for the comments.

Athena: I'm blushing here. Thanks so much for making my Friday. :)

-- PB