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Friday, December 10, 2010

Flash Fiction Friday 12-10-10: "Presents in Big Packages"

(Image source: "King Sol" by Carolyn Weltman)

“So we thought you'd get you something for your birthday,” he heard his wife Pam say from the doorway.

He turned, and when he saw them – nude, arms twined round each others' waists – he dropped his drink. Glass shattered like a bomb. He stumbled backward. His feet tangled together and he went down on his ass.

“Oh, dear,” Darla, his wife's best friend,  purred. “Fall down go boom.” She undulated toward him like a tornado, caressing herself deliberately, shivering with desire. She knelt, straddling him, hands slithering up and down his body, slipping lower, finding the growing bulge in his pants.

Still stroking, she glanced at Pam, eyes widening. “Hey, just who's getting the present here?”

Pam grinned.

Your challenge for today was to use the picture above and write a flash fiction of 107-127 words. Additionally, I provided a key phrase I wanted to see used somewhere in the submission:

"...shivering with desire..."

Nobody's checking word counts, or for the key phrase, but you're only cheating yourself if you break the rules. Unless you're doing it to earn a spanking (in which case, see me after class).

Special Bonus Director's Commentary Track:

I've been wanting to use this one for a while. It speaks to one of my big fantasies: the guy with an embarrassment of riches, two women worshiping his body (and each other) while he caresses them both, unable to believe how lucky he's gotten. The art has a hazy quality to it, like something out of a daydream. Originally that was the idea: to write something more ethereal, shadow and smoke rather than pure substance, but when I looked at it some more, it called out for a different approach: the bi-curious wife who's always wanted her best friend, so she gets a present for her husband AND for herself. How could any guy not react with delight?

I've also decided that I use "purring" women far too often. Dammit, I can't help it. I just love that low throaty voice that promises wickedness without end.

I also confess I completely forgot about my own required phrase. When I decided on the phrase initially, I had been planning an approach with lots of buildup, caress after caress, all soft sighs and gasps and helpless trembling desire. By the time I remembered it, the piece was already pretty much constructed, but it had taken a much different direction than the one I'd originally intended. I did some editing and tried it in a few places, but it was quickly apparent that to put the phrase in properly would entail reworking from the ground up. So, instead, I forced it in. ("That's what SHE said!") It's pretty jarring to me, but hopefully not to you, the reader.

The following people are participating this week. Go check out their take on this FFF, won't you, and thank 'em for playing along. I will probably not have the chance to make the rounds until Saturday due to prior commitments on Friday, so please don't think I'm abandoning you all.

Aeon's Angel: 
Soren:   (no post from Soren yet; I'm guessing he had to drop out at the last moment)

France:  (France is a newcomer; please go welcome her!) 
Vesta:  (Another newcomer; please go say welcome!) 
Oversexed Librarian:
Sephani Paige: 
Violet:  (a late addition)

Check back here on Monday for the next challenge! And if you have any photos or artwork you'd like to see in a future challenge, please send them my way. 

-- PB


Drenchxoxo said...

What a gift! (for both)

David said...

I have a birthday coming up and now I know what I want. Nice

Naughty Lexi said...

Ah, gifts that keep on giving. Actually, I liked the idea that everyone was getting a gift: he's getting one from them, and they're both getting one from him, plus each other. Gets me in the Christmas mood ;)

TemptingSweets99 said...

A wonderful birthday present. I love his reaction. No matter how many times you use it, nothing wrong with "purring" women. ;-)

TemptingSweets99 said...

P.S. Forgot to mention that I love this photo. ;-)

wordwytch said...

I love the idea of him being so shocked that he fell on his ass! BTW, That kind of surprise, it works...


Cheeky Minx said...

If only all birthdays could hold such delicious surprises...

France said...

Ooohhh an early Christmas present! I can imagine this to be quite the surprise.

I would have preferred you forgetting the required phrase and letting all of us, purring ladies, give you a proper punishment. ;)

Lusting Lola said...

Loved the shock of the gift! Wonderful. :)

Vesta said...

Your words made me smile. Every man's dream, evidently. And, thank you for the commentary. I loved that!

The Panserbjørne said...

Drench: Yes, I thought so! Apparently they do as well.

David: Surprises, real surprises, are always the best gifts.

Lexi: That was definitely the idea -- a gift that just keeps right on giving, to more than one person. Ideal!

Sweets: Maybe. I do overuse it, that's true, but it just fits so well in some cases. :) I'm glad you liked!

Rozewolf: Glad you enjoyed it! I'm pretty sure I'd react like that to such a surprise.

Minx: Perhaps some might! It depends, doesn't it? :)

France: Maybe you can punish me in secret, later on. :)

Lola: Like I said to Rozewolf, I'm pretty sure I'd react like that to such a shock. Glad you liked!

Vesta: I don't know about EVERY man's, but definitely a large number of 'em, for sure. Thanks!

-- PB