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Friday, October 1, 2010

Flash Fiction Friday 10-1-10: "Rumblin' Train"

(Source image by Igor Shitikov)

“There,” he said, letting go of the rail. His hand tingled, aftershocks of vibration still kicking themselves through nerve endings. “That's how you can tell a train's coming.”

She let go as well, then stood and bounced up and onto one of the rails. Teetering, she began to walk along, away from onrushing death.

“Um...didn't you hear me, hon? Train's coming.”

She looked back and grinned impishly. “I know,” she said, and kept walking. The sun chose that moment to break through, and suddenly she was floating in a golden haze of fire. She brought one hand down to catch her balance and it caught on her skirt, raising it higher, showing off her bare ass.

It hit him then, just like that, a blaze of lust so violent that he was dazed by it. In three steps he had seized her, pushing that naughty skirt up again, yanking at the front of his jeans, fighting to get himself free and into her. She shrieked with delight as he pushed into her, wiggling her ass against him, helping him bottom out inside.

“Oh, god,” she gasped, “I think the train already hit me.”

Your challenge for today was to use the picture above and write a flash fiction of 150-200 words. Additionally, I provided a key phrase I wanted to see used somewhere in the submission: 

" a golden haze..." 

Nobody's checking word counts, or for the key phrase, but you're only cheating yourself if you break the rules. Unless you're doing it to earn a spanking (in which case, see me after class). 

Special Bonus Commentary Track! 

Lexi is in the habit of doing an after-the-fact narration, explaining where she got the inspiration for her takes. I enjoy reading those and apparently she likes reading others' too, because she mentioned she'd like to see that from the rest of us as well. So I'll be doing these each week along with the post. If you want to join in and include your own commentary with your posts, feel free! The more the merrier.

Anyway, I saw this photo on Vixen's site a few weeks back and was immediately struck with lust, almost exactly the way I wrote about it here. I imagined, for a minute, what it must have seemed like to the photographer, how he must have waited for just the right moment for the light to come breaking through and bathe her in golden light. Then I thought about how it would have been if I were walking along with a girl in that situation and suddenly saw a sight like that -- her bouncy bare ass waggling at me as she balanced her way along the track, soaked with light, and that initial surge of desire recurred, just as hard and fast. Had I actually been in a situation like that, I think I probably would have done just what was done in this little vignette: pounced. Maybe it wouldn't have been quite so quick and easy as all that, but hey, this is my little world, dammit.

The title "Rumblin' Train" comes from a Badlands song (a pretty damned good live performance can be found here on Youtube; guitarist Jake E. Lee and vocalist Ray Gillen were awesome live). Badlands was a blues-metal band that had its only real success in the late 80s; they were sadly underappreciated. The title, like the inspiration for this piece, pretty much popped into my head out of nowhere. The song's slow groove has a deadly, insistent pulse, something that seems to build and build, something very sexy and primal. I wanted that feel in this piece, but don't know if I managed to get it across or not. If not, well, just listen to the song while reading the tale and you'll get the idea. :)


The following people are participating this week. Go check out their take on this FFF, won't you, and thank 'em for playing along. 

Just a Taste:  (JaT  is new; go say hello and welcome!) 
Selene Elpis: 
Spring Flower: 
B. Tickler:
Big Geek:
Dioneo:   (last minute addition)
Rozewolf:  (omitted from original list due to technical difficulties; apologies, Roze!)

Check back here on Monday for the next challenge! And if you have any photos or artwork you'd like to see in a future challenge, please send them my way. 

-- PB


Dioneo said...

Very nice, PB! Even though the photo doesn't show her face, I clearly see that I-don't-care-the-train-is-coming attitude that you write into her. And, of course, I loved the last line: very clever!

P.S. Not sure if you got my e-mail last night, but I have an FFF up this week.

The Panserbjørne said...

Dioneo: Yes, I did get it, but only when I woke up this morning. I love having you participate, but do try to give me a little more warning. By the time I got your message the entry had been scheduled to post for over 12 hours -- I usually write up these entries late Thursday afternoon and schedule them to post automatically on Friday morning. :)

Now, as for your nice comments about the tale itself: thanks! I did feel like there was a certain go-to-hell attitude from this girl. She just seemed like the sort.

Thanks for playing!

-- PB

Drenchxoxo said...

Bravo! I loved the urgency of this (In three steps he had seized her) comment.

Marvelous last line. Makes me wanna wander along the train tracks and see what might happen.

The Panserbjørne said...

Drench: I'm sure you would get some very interesting experiences of your own, if you wandered along like she is. You'll have to try it and let us know what happens. :)

Glad you liked what you saw here! Thanks.

-- PB

Anonymous said...

Hey Panser,

I played this week too! Don't know what happened to my post saying I was in. Oh well. I'm still having computer issues and the great god Byte must have eaten it. However, my post is up!

Loved yours. Sounds like they both got a chance to get off on good vibrations!


Naughty Lexi said...

All I can say is that, while I enjoyed all of it (including the after-party, which I'm really glad other people are starting to do because I think they're fascinating, not because you pimped my blog) I particularly enjoyed the beginning because of a misapprehension on my part. I thought she was sitting bare-ass on the rails to feel the train coming for a moment. Masturbation by train... wonderful idea. The whole story had a definite rumbly-tingly vibe to it, overexcited nerves and vibrations and onrushing urgency.

Anonymous said...

I love the urgency too. I wonder (we both wonder a lot these days!!) if they came together while the train was speeding passed them and sending vibrations their ways? ;)

Anonymous said...

Ah, yes. Urgent lust. Gotta love it.

Cheeky Minx said...

There's nothing quite like the rumbling of a train coupled with the need to sate a newly inspired lust. Gorgeously sexy, PB...

The Panserbjørne said...

Roze: I've added you to the list. Sorry about that! I was occupied with other things this weekend and unable to check things until Monday morning.

Lexi: That *would* have been an interesting way to look at it, wouldn't it? Not this time, though. Maybe you should write another one exploring it. :)

Spring Flower: Well, that's the nice thing, isn't it? You can imagine whatever ending you like. I choose to believe they both finished and leaped off the track bare instants before the train swept by. :)

Marianne: And love it, and love it, and love it. Yes, you do. Thanks!

Minx: Thank you so much! Nothing like it, indeed.

-- PB